IT APPEARS DARK(O) DAYS AHEAD FOR THE NBA’S GRISTLE: It’s been a rough start for our newly-adopted favorite NBA team, the Memphis Grizzlies.

Our Gristle has creaked out of the gate at 1-4, and is currently sprawled out on the floor of the NBA’s Southwest Division (in other news, the NBA has a Southwest Division).

Now comes news, via the ever-reliable Sam Smith, that Pau Gasol is unhappy and wants to be traded (or be cast in the next Jesus & The Apostles feature film adaptation).

So it appears the walls are closing in our Grizz, and the only way out may just be by heeding the advice of starting Memphis center Darko Milicic.