PATRICK LAST DAY IN L.A. TRUMPED BY CHRIS BOOTCHECK: How big was Dan Patrick’s radio show in Los Angeles? The LOS ANGELES TIMES reports his final show today is being pre-empted by an inconsequential Angels baseball broadcast on ESPN’s KSPN-AM in Los Angeles.

SbB predicts Patrick will soon land on Sporting News Radio in a midday slot. In other words, if you don’t live in North Platte and work the grocery store stocker third shift, you won’t hear him without securing a Pakistan cave-based satellite communications uplink.

To his credit, before he left the WWL, DP delivered (via NEWSDAY) one last open-handed slap to our favorite Bristol-based lardass: “Maybe I’ll get a rocking chair and an autographed Chris Berman picture and then just ride off into the sunset.”

• 49-year-old Julio Franco was designated for assignment by the Atlanta Braves last week, and last night reported to (and played for) the Rome (GA) Braves of the low-Class A South Atlantic League.

The second oldest player on the club? 23-year-old Jorge Acosta.

• The BOSTON GLOBE reports Patriots receiver Donte’ Stallworth has a 97 speed rating out of 100 in Madden 08. Pats running back Laurence Maroney to Stallworth: “Madden must not have watched you for a while. Not since you’ve been with us. Unless you did some things with the Eagles I didn’t see, I haven’t seen 95 or 97 out here today.”

• University of South Florida football player Woody George, who is currently competing for a starting position at defensive end, was arrested at the campus police station Thursday night and charged with a felony count of grand theft relating to a missing parking boot.

A Florida college football player arrested for a missing boot? Shouldn’t that’ve been a Florida State kicker?

• The reason sportswriters shouldn’t try screenplays: “A farm somewhere in the Midwest. Trees and beanstalks abound. The sun hangs low in the late-afternoon sky, like a testicle.”

• Angels outfielder Gary Matthews Jr. this week to the BOSTON GLOBE on playing at Fenway Park: “They’re one of the few places you’ll hear racial comments.”

• SPORTSBUSINESS JOURNAL reports NHL Florida Panthers Centerman Olli Jokinen and his wife, Katerina, “will host about 60 executives from the team’s top corporate partners this Saturday at their home in Parkland, Florida.”

SBJ notes “the Panthers’ party will cost the team $70,000-90,000. 60 invitations were sent out and more than 95% of people have committed to attend.”

Let’s just hope this trend doesn’t lead to a Falcons backyard BBQ at Michael Vick’s house.

• The PHOENIX BUSINESS JOURNAL has the spooky news that the late Rod Beck will soon be featured in an independent film. In the movie “Work Week”, Beck plays a “lower-echelon hit man named Reggie, bent on killing anyone who crosses his path.”

• The DETROIT FREE PRESS reports organizers of Detroit’s entry into the professional All American Football League (AAFL) will sign an initial five-game agreement Thursday with Ford Field to play games there beginning next spring.

The ten-game AAFL regular season will supposedly be played from April 12-July 3, with player salaries ranging from $60,000-150,000. The league’s website lists six confirmed clubs: Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Michigan, Tennessee and Texas.

• The PHOENIX BUSINESS JOURNAL notes McFarlane Toys last week debuted the Barry Bonds 756 Home Run Collector’s Edition figurine, which will sell for $15-20.

Uh, we’ll pass.

• Former USC tailback Emmanuel Moody, one week after being featured on the cover of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED as a Trojan player, has decided to transfer. Scott Wolf of the L.A. DAILY NEWS mentions Oklahoma State as a possible destination.

While coach Pete Carroll claims to Wolf that Moody’s departure was amicable, Moody’s Uncle Michael Chang suggests otherwise. Chang hints to the DALLAS MORNING NEWS that because Moody didn’t hail from California, he didn’t have as good a chance to gain playing time: “It’s not just competition, man. It’s more than that. He’s competing against California guys, and there is more than his inability to play on that football field. It’s just not the best fit for him right now.”

One word for Chang’s (and Moody’s) cowardly cop-out: HOGWASH.

• “(Bleep) ‘Family Fun Night.’ You ain’t getting a Thanksgiving either if I can help it.” – Chiefs defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham on HBO’s “Hard Knocks”, on the distraction caused by the team’s traditional event where fans can come and watch practice.

• “Once James Gandolfini was attached to it, there was nothing more that needed to be done. The rest is history.” – Baron Davis, who will be executive producer for HBO’s “ABCD Camp.” The film features the Sopranos star playing basketball shoe guru Sonny Vaccaro.

• GOLFWEEK’s Forecaddie notes TaylorMade recently trademarked the color “Sunday Red”, a burgundy red, that will be used on a line of drivers and fairway woods.

Tiger Woods, who is not an endorser of TaylorMade, traditionally wears red during Sunday rounds.