The ASSOCIATED PRESS tracks down John Daly for an explanation of his drunken episode last week that ended in a North Carolina jail. And just as we all thought, the entire incident was a complete misunderstanding!

“Nothing is going right in my life right now,” Daly said in a
telephone interview Sunday. “I’m going through a hell of a divorce. I
haven’t seen my son. It was an unfortunate incident, but it’s a joke
what people are saying. I take full responsibility for what happened,
but it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

According to Daly, the problem started when the driver of his private bus saw him “sleeping” with his eyes wide open at 2am. The driver then called 911, and that’s when the fun started.

Once the police arrived, apparently Daly was told he could not sleep off his drunk on his bus. Daly said he wanted to go to a hotel, but police told the golfer he needed someone to go with him. That’s when Daly’s friends abandoned him, and the fat man was off to jail.

Of course, the part about Daly’s friends bailing on him isn’t in his explanation, but that’s the reason he ended up in the drunk tank - with all the ugly fallout.

It sounds now as though Daly’s got no friends, no wife, and a rapidly depleted bank account. So getting back onto the PGA Tour should be paramount to him, right?

Well it doesn’t much sound like it. He refuses to go to Q School to earn his Tour Card, instead relying on his agent to drum up sponsor exemptions in Europe. His goal: play well enough to get into the World Top 50 rankings, which would once again earn him a spot on the PGA Tour.

His current world rank: 774.

See ya Long John. dumbass