D-Wade: Can You Hear Me Now, Beasley? No?

A one-act play, wherein one day of the Miami Heat is encompassed in a slightly humorous and revealing manner and we reveal why Michael Beasley did not return Dwyane Wade’s call recently:

Radio play

(C’mon, kids; we’re puttin’ on a play! Call Harry Morgan!)

Dwyane Wade: Thanks for Beez’s number, Coa… Pre… Pat. I’ll call him right away.

(Wade dials new Miami Heat teammate Michael Beasley; the phone rings.)

(Beasley tries to put down ice pack on his sore chest and reach for his cell phone. Unfortunately, his hands are slippery from picking up the ice pack and he drops the phone under his bed. The phone continues to ring.)

(Wade sighs at the still-ringing call when he gets another call. Caller ID shows it’s Charles Barkley. Wade rolls his eyes.)

Wade: Charles, I’m on the other line with Beez. I’ll call you b…

Charles Barkley: Man, it’s totally not fair I’m not allowed to gamble anymore.

Wade: Yes, I know, Charles. You called to tell me that yesterday. And the day before. And every day since the Finals ended. I’ll call you back, Charles; I’m on the other line.

(Meanwhile, Beasley is leaning off his bed and trying to hold the ice pack on his chest with one hand while digging under the bed with the other. He pushes the phone deeper under the bed before, with one final lunge, he secures the clamshell and flips it open.)

Beasley: Hello? Hello??

(The last thing Beasley hears before tumbling off his bed, smacking his head on the hardwood floor, and falling unconscious is Wade’s hold music.)

Barkley: No, seriously, Dwyane. The media are a bunch of jackasses and…

Wade: Seriously, Charles, you know those were just commercials, right? You can’t keep calling me. I have to go.

(Wade flips over to Beasley’s call. The only sound Wade can hear is the labored breathing of an unconscious man with a chest injury. Wade sighs and hangs up to redial. Subsequent attempts fail as well, mostly because he can’t open his phone without another call from Barkley about how bored he is at home now that he can’t gamble.)

(Beasley wakes up two hours later with a huge headache, chest pain, and no recollection of the phone dive. He stumbles to the bathroom for more Advil.)

(Days later…)

“”(Beasley) big-manned me. He didn’t call me back,” Wade said. “I know it’s very hectic for him right now. His voice mail is very full. I told him I hope to talk to him this week, hopefully, while I’m in town. I know how busy it is for him. Everyone’s calling and wanting to talk to him. He’s got a lot going on. But he kind of big-manned me a little bit.”"

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