No Way! More Cubs Fans Get in Fights, Arrested

Somehow, the Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox have surpassed the New York Yankees as “Major League Baseball teams I am most repulsed by”, which seems unfathomable, given my hatred for the pinstripes.

Lovable Losers

Now, a postseason run by the Yanks could change that, but not if the Cubs keep beating the tar out of opposing fans. OUT OF RIGHT FIELD shoves us towards 620 WTMJ and the news — which you’ll never believe! — that Cubs fans are getting in fights again. This time, with those sober pacifists that some people call “Milwaukee Brewers fans”.

Police say that as fans left the game, a 24-year-old Brewers fan in the Miller Park parking lot threw a can of beer at a bus filled with Cubs fans.

Three Chicago fans got off the bus and, according to police, attacked the Brewers fan.

They knocked out one of his teeth and caused other minor injuries to the fan.

Police arrested the three Cubs fans for substantial battery, which is defined as a felony. So far, the Milwaukee County District Attorney’s office has not filed any charges, but it’s expected they could review the case today.

See, this is exactly what “Lost in Translation” was about, I think. Either way, everyone knows that in Milwaukee, if they throw beer at you, it means “Tanks for comin’!” It’s smeared cheese that means “Go get bent!”

So really, it’s hard to find these poor, rational Brewers fans at fault for Chicagoans inability to grasp basic communication skills. Also, they beat up Milwaukee fans in, uh, Milwaukee. Not smart, gents.

Horry Kow

Maybe the DA hasn’t pressed charges yet, but frankly, I hope they do. I’m sick of these Cubs fans getting away with freaking everything, just because we’re supposed to feel sympathy for them for having suffered 100 years of losing and all.

And not to come off like Marty Brennaman here, but they haven’t even won yet. At least the Red Sox fans have a somewhat logical reason for their misplaced hubris.