Cubs Fan Spotted Running Down Chicago Highway

Remember all that about careful composure and eyes on the prize and all that from yesterday, Cubs fans? Some of you didn’t get the memo, which is why a man in a Cubs shirt, shorts, and a baseball cap was spotted sprinting down the Edens Expressway in Chicago near midnight Sunday/Monday after the Cubs sweep of the White Sox at Wrigley.

Chicago Cubs Frogger

The sprinter wasn’t caught, though; by the time Chicago police arrived on the scene just after midnight, the perpetrator had fled the scene. We assume Officer Pierzynski tried his hardest to get the Cub fan out of the highway, though. It’s not his fault it takes him 20 minutes to get into his squad car and that his firearm squirts jelly instead of firing bullets.

Come on, kids. We saw one of these on a car yesterday:

Chicago Cubs 'W' car flag

(For the uninitiated, a ‘W’ flag like this one flies above Wrigley Field after a win. After a loss, nothing flies, though we always felt Old Style missed a chance to advertise here. “The Old Style flag is flying. Time to drink!”)

These are Not. Cool. Don’t make us come out there, people. We’ll put on pants and come outside and rip these flags right off your cars if we have to.

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