The MIAMI HERALD has the story about five members of the Cuban national under-23-year-old team that took part in in a qualifying tournament for the Olympics in Tampa and decided they liked the place so much that they’d settle down and seek political asylum.

”We’re fine, calm, feeling hopeful about our new lives,” (team captain Yenier) Bermudez told The Miami Herald by phone Wednesday night. “Of course, we’re nervous because we’re young, have no family here, and we don’t yet know the way of life here, but we hope the Cuban and American communities will help us get started.”

And, uhhhh, if they don’t help us, we’ll always be able to do headers on the streets for spare change and Chex Mix!

And also: Tampa? You got a look at Tampa and figured this was the nation of you? Cuba must be worse off than we all feared.

These fellows have it all wrong, of course. America is only interested in your baseball players, Cuba. Preferably ones who don’t lie about their age, please. Meanwhile, the Cuban team is down to 13 players to finish this pesky tournament thing. The defects, however, have designs on playing elsewhere.

They plan to seek political asylum in the coming days, and then begin their quest for jobs in professional soccer — either with a Major League Soccer or United Soccer League team. Luiz Muzzi, general manager of Miami FC, a USL team, was contacted by a friend of the players and said he will host a tryout for them next week.

”I watched their game against the U.S. on TV, and I thought the Cuban team played very well,” Muzzi said. “We were kind of scouting that game because anytime a Cuban team comes to the United States, there’s a chance someone might defect.”

Hey, capital idea. Any chance we can get a Cuban modeling team to show up for a competition in the U.S.?