Cris Carter To Blogger: ‘I’d take you out right here’

Good: Being the internet’s most-read sports blogger:

Chris Berman God Save The Fan

Bad: Being cursed by Buzz Bissinger on national TV.

Worse: Being maimed by Cris Carter.

Will Leitch, in THE SPORTING NEWS, takes us backstage at the HBO-sponsored Bissinger debacle with a lovely pre-show exchange he had with Cris Carter - which makes his confrontation with Bissinger seem like a visit to the left side of Dairy Queen’s menu.

“Hello, I’m Will.”

Cris frowned, and even sneaked in a scowl. “Are you the blog guy?”

I smiled. The best way, I’ve learned, to deal with the hostility is just to smile. They’re not expecting that. I suspect they all think we look like the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons or, more sinister, like a member of the thrash metal group GWAR. “Yes, sir, I do write a blog.”

Cris’ scowl was no longer sneaky. “You know, I got a problem with you,” the Ohio State grad said, through gritted teeth. “Some Michigan blog said I was an a–hole. Better nobody say that to my face.”

Smiling, trying to look calm, I said, “Well, sir, you know, I didn’t write that.”

Cris took a step closer to me. “You damn well better not of, ’cause if you had, I’d take you out right here.”

As sports bloggers struggle to break into the mainstream, I shudder to think of the publicity that would’ve been generated by a well-placed stiffarm from Carter into Leitch’s solar plexus.

Will Leitch Pros vs. Joes

Mind you, I’m not worried about Will, he’s already proven he can handle himself against ex-NFL wide receivers. I’m guessing he’d have Carter neck-tied, with an assist from Daulerio, in about three Mississippis.

Instead, I’d be more worried about cro-magnon Carter’s soon-to-be-cratered career (ok, maybe not).

2 comments

  1. GravatarJimmy
    3:26 pm on May 21st, 2008

    Ya, well, Chris Carter is an a-hole and he sucks as an announcer. If he pays for the plane ticket, I’ll go to him and he can try to take me out right there.

  2. GravatarBrooks
    8:16 pm on May 21st, 2008

    Carter was unintentionally hilarious at the NFL Draft as he got his balls in an uproar over getting called on his nonsensical player evaluations by Mort and Kiper.

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