Cris Carter To Blogger: ‘I’d take you out right here’

Good: Being the internet’s most-read sports blogger:

Chris Berman God Save The Fan

Bad: Being cursed by Buzz Bissinger on national TV.

Worse: Being maimed by Cris Carter.

Will Leitch, in THE SPORTING NEWS, takes us backstage at the HBO-sponsored Bissinger debacle with a lovely pre-show exchange he had with Cris Carter - which makes his confrontation with Bissinger seem like a visit to the left side of Dairy Queen’s menu.

“Hello, I’m Will.”

Cris frowned, and even sneaked in a scowl. “Are you the blog guy?”

I smiled. The best way, I’ve learned, to deal with the hostility is just to smile. They’re not expecting that. I suspect they all think we look like the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons or, more sinister, like a member of the thrash metal group GWAR. “Yes, sir, I do write a blog.”

Cris’ scowl was no longer sneaky. “You know, I got a problem with you,” the Ohio State grad said, through gritted teeth. “Some Michigan blog said I was an a–hole. Better nobody say that to my face.”

Smiling, trying to look calm, I said, “Well, sir, you know, I didn’t write that.”

Cris took a step closer to me. “You damn well better not of, ’cause if you had, I’d take you out right here.”

As sports bloggers struggle to break into the mainstream, I shudder to think of the publicity that would’ve been generated by a well-placed stiffarm from Carter into Leitch’s solar plexus.

Will Leitch Pros vs. Joes

Mind you, I’m not worried about Will, he’s already proven he can handle himself against ex-NFL wide receivers. I’m guessing he’d have Carter neck-tied, with an assist from Daulerio, in about three Mississippis.

Instead, I’d be more worried about cro-magnon Carter’s soon-to-be-cratered career (ok, maybe not).