Crazypants Football Game Harasser Gets Popped

A quick rule of thumb for those of us in the early stages of relationships: if you’ve been told by police not to contact that person anymore, things have gone horribly wrong and you are not in that relationship anymore. It seems blatantly obvious to you or us, but if everybody knew that we wouldn’t have situations like this.

Brittney Mears Mugshot

That’s the mugshot of Brittney Mears, a 22-year-old resident of Iowa City. She went to last week’s Iowa Hawkeyes game at Kinnick Stadium, where Iowa faced lowly Arkansas State. As most fans with a mean streak do, she picked out a player to harass for the duration of the game, and sure enough, she got in his head and distracted him. Tiny problem: she did it to a Hawkeye, and she’d already been told to leave him alone. That’s a paddlin’.

From the IOWA CITY PRESS-CITIZEN:

It was the third time the woman has been warned about harassing Hawkeye defensive end Adrian Clayborn.

According to an Iowa City Police criminal complaint, Brittney Jane Mears, 22, of 2748 Heinz Rd., No. 10, was seated in the first row of Kinnick Stadium behind the players’ bench. Police said Mears, a UI student from New London, called out Clayborn’s name throughout the first three quarters of the game.

According to a previous third-degree harassment charge, the alleged contact with Clayborn began on June 28 when Mears was given a warning against making contact with him. After that Mears continued to drive past Clayborn’s workplace while staring at him, police said. According to a criminal complaint for a July 27 alleged offense, Mears sent Clayborn a lewd text message.

Okay, first things first: her name actually is Brittney Mears, which seems like the laziest hotel pseudonym Britney Spears could think of. But going to a football game and harassing the home team? YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG, Hawkeye fanlady.

We do want to know what the text message in question said; if it’s lewd but not threatening (trust us, they’d have told us if it were a threat), then we’re obligated to speculate that it was of the “proposition” sort. How ribald!

We’re sure there’s more to this story; people don’t arrive at this point in their interpersonal communication without some serious sh*t going down somewhere. Was it a one-night-stand gone wrong? A failed attempt to even get there? More details, Press-Citizen! ¡Mas!

So… would you?

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