Cowboys’ Season, Wade’s Career In Grave Danger

It’s not often that a 35-14 game can be classified as “not as close as the score indicates,” but mere numbers can’t describe the level of butt-kicking that the Giants put on Dallas for 60 minutes today.

Justin Tuck Sack
(Justin Tuck prepares to impregnate Brad Johnson’s armpit.)

It got so bad that on the final scoring play of the game, a 17-yard draw by Derrick Ward, the Cowboys’ Mike Jenkins (who returned an errant Manning pass for Dallas’ first score) just plain didn’t bother tackling Ward; Jenkins was in position, but watched without so much as lifting an arm in defense as Ward ran right past him. It was emblematic of a team that knew it was beaten and just wanted the game to be over long before it actually was.

Then there’s the quarterback problem. As Tony Romo continued to languish on the bench with a bwoken wittle fingie, Brad Johnson started and was yet again thoroughly ineffective. If Johnson was a head cold, though, Brooks Bollinger was full-blown AIDS in the second half, throwing for under 4 yards per pass and getting sacked twice. Sure, Dallas had a touchdown drive under Bollinger, but that was one of only two Bollinger drives that gained a first down. The other, by the way, didn’t come until the end of the game when Dallas was rushing against a prevent defense.

The loss pushes Dallas into last place in the mighty NFC East, which cannot sit well with the front office. Yes, Dallas is still above .500, but they’re in fifth place in the Wild Card race so far, and unless bringing Romo back provides a dramatic turnaround for the Cowboys, they’re staying home. That’s likely a death knell for a head coach like Wade Phillips, who wins games at a 60% clip, but is aging, 0-4 in the playoffs, and getting openly questioned by the Dallas media.

Now, with his team coming off yet another embarrassing loss, the question probably isn’t whether Phillips will be fired, but whether he even survives the bye week before Jerry Jones axes him. I don’t mean firing, I mean literally using a bloodaxe and chopping Phillips to death. There’s a reason why KISSING SUZY KOLBER made this image, after all:

Jerry Jones Horns