At this point, should we call the Oxford English Dictionary people and see if they can add “Chris Hansened” into next year’s edition? I know it’s two words and all, but it’s so convenient and everyone knows exactly what it means. For example: the CHATTANOOGA TIMES FREE PRESS reports that a youth softball coach thought he was going to a local park to meet a 12-year-old girl for sex, but it turns out the local police had Chris Hansened him and he was arrested.
See how easy that is? We all understand what happened to 31-year-old Charles Casseday: there was no 12-year-old girl waiting at the park, as the whole thing was a sting operation set up by police, not unlike what happens to unsuspecting creeps on NBC’s “Dateline” when they think they are going to an empty house for sex with an underage kid only to discover host Hansen and about 30 cops waiting for him.
There is a slight variation here, according to the CATOOSA COUNTY NEWS: there actually was a 12-year-old girl who had been a target. Police say that Casseday had met the girl at the park and engaged in sexually graphic conversations with her, which he later continued via text message. Eventually, the girl’s mother found out what was happening and called the police, who assumed the role of the girl over the phone.
Which meant they got to receive such gems via conversation as that Casseday “loved the child and how they needed to be alone together” and that he thoughtfully would use protection so she wouldn’t get pregnant. Because Casseday might be a total creep, but he understands the epidemic of teen pregnancy in this country and is ready to do something about it.