Sometimes homegrown traditions just need a rich base of fertilizer to take off. Such as it is for the 60th annual Commode Bowl in beautiful Dunbar, West Virginia. For the last six decades, groups of burly men gather together as much booze as it takes to get up the courage to play tackle football without pads in the waxing moments of winter.
(Don’t say we never post cheerleader pics)
This year’s Grand Marshal was chosen solely on his ability to carry the most alcohol to the field. Former World’s Strongest Man and nearby Charleston native Phil Pfister joined the parade but not, from what we can tell, the game.
That’s probably for the better. We’re not sure what happens when you get a Pfister in the Commode Bowl, but we’re pretty sure it’s only legal in Big Ten football.
They drag that booze along a parade route (without drinking any first, we’re sure) complete with inflatable toilet bowls, inflatable booze bottles, and inflated egos down to the middle school, where they pound the ever-lovin’ snot out of each other and then, we’re guessing, they might drink a little.
Or, to put it in the far more pointed words of a local:
“I fought with a guy last year and we went out afterward and got drunk together.”
Happy Thanksgiving, y’know?