DON’T BUFFALO HIM: If you haven’t heard the audio rant featuring Colorado football coach Dan Hawkins dissing a parent who complained about the lack of time off before the start of spring practice — “IT’S DIVISION I FOOTBALL … GO PLAY INTERMURALS, BROTHER” — turn the speaker volume down despite the fact it starts out rather quietly.

Marc Isenberg, whose MONEY PLAYERS blog tries to help college athletes stay pointed in the right direction through all the usual NCAA garbage, makes the point that Hawkins “provided a compelling case why college athletes in revenue-driven sports deserve some form of compensation.

“Being a D-1 college football or basketball player is a full-time job. Then add a legitimate (let’s hope) academic course load. The schedule described by Coach Hawkins absolutely does not leave room to work a paying job.”

Hawkins also provided a compelling case as to why no one has been able to hold a job as the Colorado head football coach.

Now, if he’d only add a female placekicker …