Coach K Is Ready To Start Scalping Duke Tickets

The college basketball season will be here before you know it, and right now all over the country schools are playing out exhibition games in preparation for the year. This includes everybody’s favorite men’s basketball squad, the Duke Blue Devils. The Dukies finished their exhibition schedule on Wednesday night, and even though they beat Lenoir-Rhyne 95-42, there was something about the game that left a bitter taste in Mike Krzyzewski’s mouth afterwards (cue the J.J. Redick jokes).

(”I will rip your soul out with my bare f#@%ing hands!”)

You see, since his team was playing such an inferior opponent, Coach K didn’t have to do all that much coaching last night. This left him with a lot of time to take in the atmosphere around Cameron Indoor Stadium, and as he was doing so he noticed something troubling. There were a lot of empty seats in Cameron, and now Coach K is ticked off.

From the NEWS & OBSERVER:

“We played well, but there was something a little bit missing,” Krzyzewski said. “The same thing with the crowd. We should remind all our Duke fans that we start our season on Monday and every game counts, and if you’re not going to come, let us know and we’ll sell the seats.

“We should not have an empty seat in Cameron.  That’s the way it is. I know I can sell them. I’ll go sell them. If you’re not coming, I’ll go sell them.

“Look, I’m hungry. I think our team is hungry.  The people here, we’re hungry. Let’s go after it by getting a good atmosphere. We can be better. But it’s a group thing. … It’s my 29th year. I’ll sell tickets. It’ll be a cool thing. I’ll get my grandkids out there. We’ll put Cameron Crazy wigs on and we’ll get everyone in there.”

Seriously, Mike, relax.  Duke basketball games have been sold out for years, and it’s not going to change anytime soon. So what if a few people don’t show up to see you guys beat some team by 50 points? You do realize that you coach basketball at a school, don’t you? Could it be possible that the students at Duke thought staying at home and studying just might be a better option than to see what the boys at Lenoir-Rhyne look this year?

If you’re so freaking hungry, go eat a baby like you normally do.

8 comments

  1. GravatarIndiana Pacer Maker
    4:11 pm on November 6th, 2008

    Chill, Coach K - It's an EXHIBITION game. Technically it doesn't count.

  2. GravatarGolden Hurricane Carter
    4:15 pm on November 6th, 2008

    Nebraska fans are willing to spend over $100 per ticket to their spring football game. So why shouldn't Coach K expect the same kind of rabid enthusiasm for his own basketball team?

  3. GravatarSour Orange
    4:17 pm on November 6th, 2008

    Someone needs to inform Mike about the current economy.

  4. GravatarBermans 222 Dealer
    4:19 pm on November 6th, 2008

    Maybe Mike should beef up his exhibition schedule. Get the Harlem Globetrotters, or even the Washington Generals.

  5. GravatarBruin Up Trouble
    4:24 pm on November 6th, 2008

    Stories like this make it that much easier to hate Duke.

  6. GravatarKingKong
    4:26 pm on November 6th, 2008

    Coach K's gold medal should get him a lot of tail

  7. GravatarAgent Zero Tolerance
    4:26 pm on November 6th, 2008

    Berman:

    I'm sure Coach K made some international friends while over at the Beijing Olympics. Why not invite Angola or Lithuania over to Cameron?

  8. GravatarEager Beaver
    4:37 pm on November 6th, 2008

    Is he planning on going door-to-door in Durham to sell them all?

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