Coach Has About Had It With Own Drunken Antics

From the Onion Headlines Which Come to Life Dept., an Australian rugby coach has fined himself $10,000 for his own drunken escapades, which ended with him trying to break into the wrong hotel room and terrorizing the two women who were inside.

Brad Fittler

Brad Fittler, one of Australia’s greatest rugby players and current coach of the Sydney Roosters, spent the night drinking last Thursday, then returning to the Holiday Inn in Townsville at 3 a.m., somehow dressed only in shorts. Hey, who among us hasn’t been drunk and pantsless at an Australian Holiday Inn at 3 in the morning?


The two occupants called the police, saying a “creepy man” with a “hairy chest” was trying to get into the room. When the police arrived, they escorted Fittler back to his room.

Then it was time to apologize. “I take this opportunity to apologise for my behaviour on Thursday night,” Fittler said in a press conference. “I brought embarrassment to the club, myself and my family. I’d also like to take this opportunity to apologise to the occupants of the room concerned. As a result I’ve fined myself $10,000 and that donation will be going to a suitable charity.”

The incident occurred only days after Fittler imposed a drinking ban on his players following a number of alcohol-related incidents this season; including a DUI, and one player being fined $2,000 after he was photographed urinating outside a Sydney hotel.

And this fine tidbit from FOX SPORTS:

Fittler had run into alcohol-related problems during his playing days, most notably when he was reportedly described by a police source as “the drunkest human being ever” after being dropped onto the front lawn of a Sydney police station in 1999 by a cab driver.

Being named “the drunkest human being ever” … in Australia? That’s a fine achievement, my friend.