Clint Malarchuk Is Immortal And Incredibly Stupid

Do you remember who Clint Malarchuk is? No? Well maybe this picture will help jog your memory.

Clint Malarchuk

(”Oh man, my contact lens came out!”)

Yes, that’s Clint. Oh, what a day that was for the young Buffalo Sabres goaltender. Any goalie can block a 100 MPH slap shot at his face, but only Mr. Malarchuk can block the shot and then take a skate to his throat that cuts his jugular and live to tell about it. What we learned about Clint on that fateful day back in 1989 is that he is very, very lucky man. What we learned about Clint this past Tuesday was that he’s also incredibly sad and stupid.

From the NATIONAL POST:

According to a report in The Record Courier of Nevada, Malarchuk accidentally shot himself in the chin with a .22 caliber rifle on Tuesday.

Malarchuk’s wife reported the shooting. When officers arrived at the family’s residence, the former goaltender was reportedly bleeding profusely from the mouth and chin, and initially refused treatment from paramedics. Malarchuk was transported to a medical facility nearby, where reports indicate he continued to be uncooperative with medical staff. He was later taken by helicopter to Renown Regional Medical Center in Nevada.

On Wednesday, the local sheriff’s department was said to be investigating the incident to determine if indeed the shooting was accidental.

Seriously, this does sound more like a suicide attempt than anything else, so I don’t mean Malarchuk is stupid because he accidentally shot himself in the face. I mean he’s stupid because it’s pretty obvious that he cannot die. He could probably lay down in the road and have five tanks roll over him, then have a firing squad shoot him in the face fifteen times from point blank range and he’d end up with nothing worse than a headache and a cut over his eye.

11 comments

  1. Gravatarjason
    3:37 pm on October 9th, 2008

    You can't kill Clint Malarchuk, you can only hope to contain him.

  2. GravatarNick N.
    3:50 pm on October 9th, 2008

    Screw Chuck Norris - this is the toughest man on the planet.

  3. GravatarDan Anderson
    3:59 pm on October 9th, 2008

    That's a gruesome injury.

  4. Gravatardeets
    4:52 pm on October 9th, 2008

    hahahaha

  5. GravatarMinnyCooper
    10:55 pm on October 9th, 2008

    Dude, that's a sick photo. Malarchuk's like Jason from Friday the 13th - you can't kill him.

  6. GravatarDunder Mifflin Security Guard
    11:08 pm on October 9th, 2008

    First his neck, then his chin - Clint's nose better watch out!

  7. GravatarPhil
    12:41 am on October 10th, 2008

    With all that blood, it looks like Clint was attacked by Jason himself.

  8. GravatarScottScott
    10:18 am on October 10th, 2008

    i agree. chuck norris is no longer the toughest guy in the world.

  9. GravatarWes Welker Wuvs You
    11:28 am on October 10th, 2008

    Ironically, a paper cut would send Clint into a six-month coma.

  10. GravatarBronx Bomber Bombed
    3:43 pm on October 10th, 2008

    I'm not sure how being indestructible is being stupid.

  11. Gravataromg.
    7:16 pm on October 10th, 2008

    this man is insane.
    invincible.

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