Clemens’ Ex Mindy McCready Tried To Kill Herself

It hasn’t been the greatest year for country singer Mindy McCready. Things started out poorly enough when it was revealed that she’d had an affair with Roger Clemens for ten years, and that the relationship started out when she was 15 years old. Even though Clemens has denied the story ever since, Mindy’s mother said there was a relationship but it was strictly platonic. That story was quickly followed by a former roommate of Mindy’s saying that she was 17 years old before sleeping with Roger. It’s at this point that I’d just like to point out that I’ve never had sex with Roger Clemens, at any age.

Mindy McCready

Of course, all that is just the tip of the iceberg for McCready this year. Glancing over the DUI she was found not guilty of back in 2007, there was also the events of last week that saw Mindy charged with identity theft and other crimes in Arizona. Oh, and there was that apparent suicide attempt on a drug overdose back in the summer that caused her to spend some time in a rehab facility in Texas.  Well, you know the old saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again?” Mindy takes that to heart.

From NEWSDAY:

Anguished country crooner Mindy McCready has been hospitalized after what appears to be her second suicide attempt this year.

McCready, who was treated at a Texas rehab center this summer after an attempt to kill herself, was taken to a Nashville hospital yesterday morning with wounds to her wrists, according to local police officials.

Nashville police last night said that McCready, whose legal first name is Malinda, called her assistant, Brent Young, at 7:50 a.m. to say she needed him to come over, because “she had done something bad.” Young arrived at 10:15 a.m. “and discovered that she had cut her wrists and taken several pills.” McCready was taken to Centennial Hospital, according to the report.

Now suicide isn’t exactly a funny topic, and I’m trying my best not to just start cracking jokes here, but this is getting pretty ridiculous. First of all, I don’t think this is an attempt to die as much as a call for attention. When you want to kill yourself you don’t call your assistant afterwards and let them know what you’re doing so they’ll come and save you.   Plus, when you slit your wrists, it’s across for sympathy and down for death. Everybody knows this, or at least, they do now.

Maybe Mindy should give Terrell Owens a call. They have a ton in common, what with the attention seeking behavior, the suicide attempts complete with calls to their assistants, and both seem to be incredibly lonely right now. They’d be perfect for each other. Then when both T.O. and Tony Romo have country singing girlfriends, maybe Tony will invite Terrell over for his practice sessions with Jason Witten and the Cowboys can win the Super Bowl! Mindy may redeem herself yet!