Fabian Dawson of the VANCOUVER PROVINCE reports this week that Tiger Woods‘ most recent mistress Emma Rotherham isn’t British. She’s in fact a Montreal native currently living illegally in the United States.

(Rotherham allegedly said: “We don’t talk to ugly people.”)

A relative of Rotherham to the Province on the 42-year-old:

I don’t know how she got back into the U.S. and stayed there after we heard she was deported. I heard she was in New York with lawyers . . . I can’t say anything else. I just hope my brother does not have anything to do with her anymore . . . our concern are the children.

Another gem from Rotherham’s sister-in-law: “She and her friend always used to say we don’t talk to ugly people . . . I don’t have much time for her.”

Rotherham has a 25-year-old daughter who lives in Montreal and a 16-year-old girl who lives with her in Florida.

Now for the interesting part.

Thanks to the allegations that Rotherham was paid $500,000 cash by Woods and that she’s also in the country illegally, don’t be surprised if the I.R.S. and/or U.S. Immigration Enforcement officials pay Ms. Rotherham a visit.

As noted previously, she’s allegedly been in New York conferencing with attorneys which may be an indication that she’s preparing for legal battle.

If she turns out to be the subject of a government-led investigation things could get very interesting as it pertains to Woods - thanks to his alleged tax-free payment to her or him possibly enabling someone to reside in the U.S. illegally.

Just when you think this cartoon can’t get anymore ridiculous …