BELLY-ITCHERS NEED NOT APPLY TO CINCY LITTLE LEAGUE: Paul Daugherty of the CINCINNATI ENQUIRER reports a youth baseball league called the “The Knothole Club of Greater Cincinnati” is banning players from using “chatter” unless it is “positive” and encourages teammates.

Daugherty: “You can’t say ‘We want a pitcher, not an underwear stitcher!’ unless, maybe, you grew up in a culture that idolizes underwear stitchers. Standings for the Feelgood Division of the Self Esteem League will be available any time now.”

A group of coaches and members of the Knothole Club board of directors made the call to silence the children and coaches, and they aren’t happy about it. Reax:

Will Reverman, 8: “dumb.”
Ryan Lutz, 8: “really dumb.”
Michael Staley, 8: “We can still steal, right?”

Daugherty’s suggestions for alternate cheers:

“We want a pitcher, not a glass of the finest French Cabernet!”
“Yes, batter! Yes, batter!”
“The umpire is visually challenged in a positive way!”

Nice piece by Daugherty, I’m just surprised he didn’t report on the Reds campaigning for a similar rule for fans.