Chris Bosh Saves The Internet For 800+ Athletes

There probably aren’t any statistics to bear this out, but we’re pretty damned sure that the lowest ratio of IQ-to-income among all professions belongs to athletes, who display an uncanny ability to blow through unholy amounts of money as soon as they get it. That’s not news, of course, but it makes them prime targets for people looking for an easy dollar.

Chris Bosh loves music SO MUCH
(This man is your hero.)

Cyber-squatters, of course, are some such people, and one in particular made an effort to claim the names of hundreds upon hundreds of athletes. Unfortunately, one of those athletes just so happened to be Chris Bosh. Bosh does have money, but rather than cough up a cent for his eponymous domain name, he used said money on lawyers, who have the “get rich off rich people” game on lock. A (metaphorical) layup in court later, and over 800 domain names are free, including some absolute gems.

From ESPN.COM’s TRUEHOOP:

There are nearly 800 names in the list, and Bosh and his internet consultant, Hadi Teherany of Max Deal, say they’ll return them all to their rightful owners for free.

Which means a good chunk of the basketball world will be owing Bosh a favor. The list is thick with basketball players in the NBA, overseas, college and high school. There are also some football players, political sites, Britney Spears‘ child, singers, a site or two that sound raunchy, and the Mexican wrestler “El Octagon.”

First of all, we thought “El Octagon” was Brian Fantana’s nickname for his penis in Anchorman. If it wasn’t, it should have been.

But aside from the big domain names listed in the lawsuit, chief among them AmareStoudemire.com and CarmeloAnthony.com, some of the great fun lies in perusing the entire list (pops to 23-page .PDF file). To boot:

  • Rob Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon
  • Scarlett Johanssen-Reynolds
  • DiscoveryDisaster.com (yes, the one from 23 years ago)
  • Dozens of NBA prospects from overseas
  • Dozens of top high school athletes in football and basketball
  • Nearly every member of the Gotti family

The last one is not a joke or exaggeration; he actually tried to extort the most famous (ex-)mob family in America. Capital idea, old chum. Absolutely do not complain about this lawsuit and its release of all these cyber-squatted domain names, unnamed defendant, because it probably saved your life.