Chinese Condoms Exploit Beckham, British WAGs

Leave it to the Chinese to appropriate whatever they want from western culture, use it to sell slumping consumer goods and then expect the rest of the world to understand that they just don’t believe in individual property rights. Last month it was David Beckham. This month? It’s one of the world’s great WAGs (wives and girlfriends), Kelly Brook.

kelly brook

(Kelly Brook, coming soon to a condom near you … you wish.)

According to the blog DJ MICK, the eyesome Chinese condom company is using images of Brook, the girlfriend of young English rugby star Danny Cipriani, and actress Mena Suvari to peddle their rubbers. And before Brook and co. even consider suing eyesore, they need to know that the condoms bearing their faces are only selling for about $1.50. So much for that copyright infringement case, huh? At least Brook has her 34GG assets to fall back on.

kelly brook mena suvari condoms

Beckham doesn’t have that, but he does have plenty of cash. Somehow, something tells us that he’ll want even more money for being plastered across a prophylactic.

That’s about as much piece of mind as Beckham has. The world’s most recognized sports star is being expropriated for an unauthorized “David Beckham” condom — also in China — that promises it will help men score in bed, “like Beckham does on the pitch.” Amazingly, the brazen sales tactic has turned David Beckham condoms in the Trojan of China overnight. The image you see below is an imagined one from GALLERY OF THE ABSURD, but what the hell, that’s probably what the package looks like anyway.

david beckham condom

So how can these stars stop the Chinese condom industry for selling sex wrappers with their faces on it? They probably can’t. In fact, Asian exploitation of European and American stars is such a given that both Beckham and Brook should probably just sit back and laugh it off.

Kelly Brook

They just shouldn’t sit back and laugh it off together, because that would make Posh jealous. After all, just look at her! With all those self-endorsed condoms around, who knows what could happen.

Kelly Brook