As we continue to recognize the invention of new games, we fondly look back on an older attempt in a uniquely American flavor: conspicuous consumption of American meats in a blatantly capitalistic advertising venture. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to eat some Nathan’s hot dogs. FANHOUSE provides the play-by-play; we provide the results.

Joey Chestnut (reigning champion of pork tubeage) and Kobayashi (vanquished foe) proved themselves to be the best in the world at cramming hot dogs down their magnificent gullets, posting record number of dogs downed well ahead of the competition. They were so evenly matched that they ended regulation in a tie, forcing the consumption of penalty dogs.

Chestnut then downed five hot dogs faster than Kobayashi, breaking the deadlock and continuing to hold the ever-expanding belt. USA! USA!

Now that Chestnut’s proven his mettle against Kobayashi for the second time, we will refer to him as “Captain Kirk” from now on.