If David Beckham can land a Hollywood agent, why can’t a whole English soccer club?

Chelsea must asked themselves that same question, and now the fame & fortunes of the Champions League finalists are in the hands of Creative Artists Agency.

FOX SPORTS reports that CAA, who already represent more than 400 sports stars, has been charged with the task of ingraining Chelsea into the minds of the American sports public.

The agency will be involve in “marketing the Premier League club’s players, organizing money-spinning tours and enhancing the Champions League finalist’s brand.” So, what can CAA do to help Chelsea?

First order of business: Put a positive spin on letting a title victory against Manchester United slip away. Maybe CAA can attempt to sell the Blues as “lovable losers”. It’s worked so well for the Chicago Cubs.

As for that little post-game police escort out of Moscow? Here’s your tagline: “Chelsea works with local law enforcement.” Americans always like to see support for cops in this post-9/11 world.

And for the ensuing riots in London? Why, that just shows how strongly Chelsea fans care about their team. Who wouldn’t be impressed by a club that stirs up so much passion?

We’re sold! Where can we buy some t-shirts to impress our friends & neighbors? (Make that “neighbours”.)