Wrestler Busted For Playing Amateur Pharmacist

Like many men of my generation, I once went through a brief & regrettable pro wrestling phase. Mine happened during my sophomore year of college, 1999-2000. It was the age of nu-metal and rap rock; just some months before, I voluntarily attended a Limp Bizkit/Staind concert (10/12/99, Kansas City, MO, in case you want to […]

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Let’s Just Give A-Rod A Pass On This One, OK?

Hunting Alex Rodriguez for sport has been America’s favorite pastime for nearly a decade; and I’ll admit, he often presents a tempting target. His fling with Madonna alone reaffirmed my belief in God’s raucous sense of humor. And then of course this was like stumbling on a vein of pure comedy gold.

But Blogland is all […]

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Um, Pro Wrestling Actually Punishes Steroid Use?

It was just announced that Rey Mysterio (nĂ© Oscar Gutierrez) was suspended by the WWE for steroid use. If you’re like us, you’re utterly shocked, SHOCKED… that the WWE actually tests for that stuff. With all due respect to the wrestlers who build their bodies naturally, um, look at your colleagues.

(This guy? He’s the […]

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Jose Canseco To Fight Rodney King. No, Honestly

There is a part of us that wants to believe Jose Canseco and take him seriously. He was right about A-Rod using steroids and right about Manny Ramirez using them. If you want to see what blackballing looks like, check out Canseco and the way the sport and its press treat him.

(Just a reminder: a […]

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Bronson Arroyo Loves His Drugs, You Bet He Does

When last we left Bronson Arroyo, he was telling the world on the eve of the trading deadline that he took androstenedione and amphetamines back in 2003, and that he wouldn’t be surprised to see his name pop up on baseball’s “secret” steroids list. The Reds, who were trying to trade him, were then shocked […]

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Toto, I Don’t Think We’re In Mannywood Anymore

So here’s the highlight of last night’s Giants-Dodgers game, I suppose. Fans in the AT&T bleachers are really letting Manny Ramirez have it: “Manny’s on steroids,” “Manny takes women’s hormones,” the stuff you might expect. One woman, wearing a Dodger-blue baby bonnet, has a sign that reads, “It’s a boy.” Then one particular guy screams […]

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Canada Frowns On Drug-Running Swim Coaches

What’s the most hardcore thing your favorite coach ever did when you were in high school? Oh, did he yell at a guy? Maybe win a fight? Sorry, but Cecil Russell probably has him beaten.

(”Good news, kid; you’re alive! I’ll put the gasoline away and help you out of the pool.”)
Russell, if you’ve never heard […]

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Hey, Huge Surprise: Ortiz Denies Using Steroids

Perhaps sarcasm isn’t a noble trait, but we’re going to engage in it for a little while anyway. Apologies to those who thought we were better than that; we’re not. But now David Ortiz, after several days and close consult with MLBPA lead counsel Michael Weiner, has decided to tell us he actually never did […]

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Ortiz Using Weiner To Explain ‘03 Positive Test

The “revelation” about David Ortiz’s positive steroids test in 2003 is about to be addressed by Big Papi himself, according to the BOSTON GLOBE. That’s good, we suppose; you don’t want that fact just floating out there without any sort of context or mitigating factors or anything.

(And if he gets nervous during the speech, he’ll […]

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Rashard Lewis Suspended 10 Games For ‘Roids?

In the realm of guys you’d expect to hear were busted for using steroids, objectively, you’d have to think a string bean like Rashard Lewis would be way down on the list. But here we are, apparently.

(The NBA knew something was really up when they saw the Gumby cut.)
The ORLANDO SENTINEL is reporting that Lewis […]

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