Earlier this morning, we showed you video of New Mexico women’s soccer player Elizabeth Lambert going full berzerker on the Lobos’ opponents, BYU. Despite repeated blatant offenses against the Cougars (no, not them) - not the least of which was yanking a competitor to the ground by her ponytail, as seen below, Lambert only got […]

You know it’s a big day when we’re bringing you women’s soccer highlights. Yesterday’s game between BYU and New Mexico wasn’t especially crazy if you only look at the box score. 1-0, Stormin’ Lady Mormons. It’s how we all got there that’s raising an eyebrow or two.

(Hey hey hey hey hey, none of that, girls.)
Yeah, […]

Has it always been your dream to travel to South Africa to watch soccer? My condolences. But hey, it’s the World Cup. And if you’re from Chile, it’s something special to see your team compete on the world stage. So three enterprising Chileans have cooked up a wacky scheme to earn the dough to make […]

Meet Arek Onyszko, everybody. He’s the goalkeeper for Danish soccer club FC Midtjylland. Or at least he was, anyway; he was recently kicked off the team after he released a book the team told him to quit working on. Also, he hates gay people like you would not believe. No, really; he’d like to tell […]

In our last episode, Pepe the Witch, a sorcerer from the Málaga Province in Spain, announced that he had placed a voodoo curse in Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo that was responsible for the soccer star’s recent ankle injury. But why would Pepe do such a thing? He’s always been a benevolent witch, using his powers […]

Just because you’re being attacked in the stands by a berserk athlete is no reason to drop your cigarette. Just another day in British soccer, as Lee Whetter, the captain for St. Austell F.C., attacks a Newquay fan during a recent South West Peninsula League game in Cornwall.

The fan, Mark Charles, 48, was put in […]

So Diego Maradona’s advice to all of his critics on Wednesday, specifically on how they “can suck it, and keep on sucking it,” seems to be sweeping the globe. One profane outburst to unite us all.

Argentina’s embattled national coach got his squad into the World Cup on Wednesday, with a 1-0 win over Uruguay. And […]

It’s not every day that the leader of a Central American political coup invites a U.S. soccer player to his (recently acquired) country for a little celebration. But the U.S. National team’s Jonathan Bornstein received that honor on Thursday, after his equalizing goal in stoppage time against Costa Rica propelled Honduras into the final automatic […]

Charlie Davies, a striker on the U.S. National soccer team, was in surgery in stable condition this afternoon after a car crash in Arlington, Virginia this morning. One passenger in the car, a 22-year-old woman, was pronounced dead at the scene. The injuries to Davies, 23, are not life threatening, which is somewhat amazing considering […]

The hapless coach of the French national soccer team, in danger of being run out of the country for his team’s poor play, is now suddenly popular, all because a former porno actress has written a hit song about him. So typical.

Sample lyric of the song Je Kiffe Raymond (I Fancy Raymond): “If he […]