StL Rams Readying For Team Sale, Possible Move

Sports fans in St. Louis spend an inordinate amount of time telling anyone and everyone who will listen that they are the “best fans in baseball.” Unfortunately, with all the time they spent patting themselves on the back in baseball over the past few years, they didn’t notice that their football team, the St. Louis […]

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Obama Bobblehead Threat Thwarted By Customs

It’s always been clear to me that when the terrorists next attack us here, it will be with bobblehead dolls. U.S. Customs shares my concerns, and have quarantined several boxes of Barack Obama bobbleheads that were headed to a West Virginia Single-A baseball team for a Saturday promotion.

The bobbleheads, which have been sitting in a […]

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Nigerian Man U Fan Drives Bus Into Barca Crowd

Respected journals of anthropology like SPORTSbyBROOKS have long chronicled the behaviour of soccer fans in the wild, for science. SbB’s crack team of scientists traveled the globe to document the fascinating rioting habits of the Irish fan, the Romanian fan, and the Russian fan. We even received data from our South American research station on […]

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Charlie Manuel Wants Phillies Fans To Boo. Really.

Yes, the headline seems confusing, but that’s essentially what Phillies manager Charlie Manuel is begging for: Philly fans to boo. Yes, it’s like asking fish to swim, but evidently Philly fans have actually done the impossible in the aftermath of their team’s World Series title: They’ve become too polite.

(They’re not saying “Boo,” they’re saying “Lewww.” […]

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Cal Ripken Jr. Needs Space For His Deep Thoughts

If you’re Cal Ripken Jr., motivational speaker, you don’t just hop from your limo right onto the stage and start blabbing about your 2,632 consecutive game playing streak. Like the great thinkers of our age, you need time to organize your thoughts.

This story is somewhat old, but amusing nonetheless: Ripken apparently has a clause in […]

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Crowning The World’s Best At Having Fake Sex

Brooks can take this job and shove it. I don’t need to be a blogger anymore, because I’ve found my true calling in life. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the North American Air Sex Championships.

Picture air guitar, but with less strumming and more bumming. Less twanging and more banging. Less plucking, and you […]

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Nike Just Does It, Lays Off Thousands Worldwide

In many ways, the world of sports has been somewhat shielded from the massive economic meltdown affecting the rest of the world. Sure, the Yankees are having trouble getting people to the ballpark, but with an average ticket price of $230 and a sub-.500 record, those seats would be a tough sell in the best […]

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Yankees Wash Fans Out of Stadium Before Game

The New York Yankees’ front office has not been invited to the NRA convention in Phoenix this weekend, but they should have been. Their breakout session on How to Shoot Yourself in the Foot Repeatedly with a Semi-Automatic Weapon would have drawn crowds, even to the expensive seats up front.

However, those crowds might have been […]

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Speed Read: Another Violent Day in LA’s Paradise

The baseball day in Los Angeles started on a solemn note Monday when the Dodgers held two moments of silence for fallen comrades in arms during Chavez Ravine’s opening day Monday (before a third passed later in the day).

(Pictures from 710 AM ESPN’s Beto Duran)
By the end of the game (an 11-1 pounderation of the […]

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Eagles Sack Employee Over Angry Facebook Note

Apparently, the Philadelphia Eagles organization is trying to one-up their fans for the title of “Worst People in the World (Non-Soccer Hooligan Division).” Not only did they cold-heartedly let Brian Dawkins leave for the Denver Broncos despite his apparent desire to finish his career with the team, but now they are bringing down their wrath […]

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