Irishmen, A Playboy Model And $1 Beer … Yikes

President Obama’s first pitch at the All-Star Game was all well and good, but if you’re like me, you’d much prefer to see a Playboy Playmate with humongous breast implants chuck a ceremonial delivery. It could end up anywhere! (The pitch, I mean). And thanks to the Mahoning Valley Scrappers Minor League Baseball team, we’re […]

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It’s Time For The Running Of The Bald Guys Bulls

It’s one of the world’s most confounding spectacles, where dangerous beasts, crazed participants and horrified spectators combine in a festival of injury and mayhem. But enough about the Michael Jackson Memorial. Today was also the first day of the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain, which is part of the Festival of San Fermin. […]

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Kobe Bryant To Be At The Jacko Memorial (Woo!)

Kobe Bryant is bad, he’s bad, you know it (come on). So Bryant is going to be one of the big celebrities at the Michael Jackson Memorial on Tuesday; of course he is. But what I’m unclear on is what his function will be at the big party - will he favor us with a […]

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‘Joe Buck Live’ Ready To Bolster A Weary Nation

Like Conan O’Brien’s debut as the new host of “The Tonight Show” or John Madden’s first turn in the “Monday Night Football” booth, all eyes will be focused tonight on FOX SPORTS announcer Joe Buck, as “Joe Buck Live” premieres on HBO. I only pray to God that you’ve got your digital converter box installed.

Actually, […]

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Crowning The World’s Best At Having Fake Sex

Brooks can take this job and shove it. I don’t need to be a blogger anymore, because I’ve found my true calling in life. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the North American Air Sex Championships.

Picture air guitar, but with less strumming and more bumming. Less twanging and more banging. Less plucking, and you […]

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Speed Read: It’s March (And Then April) Madness

Why do we continue to give college basketball a pass on “March Madness” when the Final Four takes place during April? Sure, you’re sitting there and thinking, “So only 61 of the 64 games happen in the right month? So?” It’s the principle of it all, damn it! I can’t make a PG movie that […]

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Harlem Globetrotters About To Play Roof-ketball

Remember that idiot cousin of yours, the one who flunked out of trade school? Remember when you were growing up and you first realized what an idiot he was? It was when he tried to jump off the garage and dunk a basketball, then ended up breaking his ankle, wasn’t it? Plus he totally whiffed […]

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I Don’t Think The Lions Thought This One Through

Are you a Detroit Lions fan? Yes? Well then do I have a question for you: what in the hell is wrong with you? Why on Earth would anyone want to root for a franchise that not only went 0-16 this season, but hasn’t had a winning season since going 9-7 back in 2000? Why […]

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Economy Forcing London Olympics to Go Cheap

The global financial crisis is threatening to tone down spending for the 2012 Olympic Games in London.  Existing venues may be used for some events in lieu of constructing new ones.  The event, which was already slated to be smaller in cost and physical size than the 2008 Beijing Games, is having trouble securing loans […]

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Live Brog: Brooks At Red Sox-Angels In Anaheim

I’m coming to you live from inside and outside Angels Stadium tonight, with a Live Brog of ALDS Game 1 between the Red Sox and the Angels (we’ll just leave off the whole ridiculous L.A. thing, if you don’t mind).

(The fateful night St. Peters screwed me out of that dratted six-team parlay)
I’m hoping to take […]

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