Want to get in shape but don’t have the time to go to the gym, or the money or space in your apartment for equipment? Don’t want to have dumbbells laying around your house because you don’t trust heavy objects that just sit around and do nothing since your Dad left when you were a kid? Then we have the perfect workout plan for you: Use a cat!
We couldn’t believe it, either, but then we went to CAT WORKOUT and saw that working out can be as easy as “Meow, Meow, Meow.” Of course, this requires that you have a cat, which some of you might not have. Personally, my cat Deano weighs about 24 pounds, so I wound up throwing my back out after a couple of reps and was laid up in bed for a week. Solution: I got a smaller cat, and it works! Don’t believe me? Check out the video after the jump to start purring your way to shape:
First, let me say this: that’s one feline I wouldn’t mind stroking, if you know what I mean. You don’t? Fine - it’s an attractive cat. The girl isn’t bad looking either. Some of the videos also involve a dude with lots of tattoos and a Manchester United jersey doing exercises but trust me: they aren’t nearly as exciting. Plus. he looks like the type of person who goes out of his way to drink Olympia or Hamm’s in an ironic way and always smells of cloves.
Note: please only use actual cats during your workouts. You may be tempted to use a stuffed cat, but they don’t offer the resistance that real cats do (although it is true that said “resistance” can lead to lots of nasty scratches - make sure you have plenty of antibiotic cream handy). And don’t try to use Andres “The Big Cat” Galarraga as a prop for you workouts, either - not only does he weigh far too much, frankly, he doesn’t appreciate being manhandled.
Finally, whatever you do, do not use the cat for any “stretching” exercises: this will result in a visit from the ASPCA and the local animal police. Cat juggling, however, is dependent on your local ordinances.