Well here’s a completely unsubstantiated rumor we’re more than happy to start: Now that Carmelo Anthony got his gold medal in Beijing, he wants to quit jumping around in front of thousands of fans a night and start focusing on his one true dream: playing on the Olympic handball team!
Fine, we’ll be honest: There’s not much real substance behind this one. But in an interview with the ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS, Carmelo did give the following cryptic quote that hints at his pursuit of a more manicurial passion: “I wanna play handball, man. The U.S. needs to get a handball team. I’m pretty sure we can get some guys to go out there and play handball.”
Told ya. He’s totally going to retire!
The big hurdle Carmelo has to climb is the obvious one: right now, America doesn’t have a Team Handball team, which means we’ll have to start from scratch. A team consists of 7 players, 6 who focus on the throwing of the balls and one goalkeeper, who will obviously be this guy:
With him and ‘Melo on board we have a nice start, but still need another 5 gentlemen to fill out the roster. While they’ll all probably be basketball players (dudes have some big hands) all suggestions are more than welcome in the comments below.
C’mon folks, let’s make ‘Melo’s dream our dream! In 2016 let’s take the cup, or whatever the hell they get, back from those dirty Frenchmen who won it in Beijing and bring it back to America, where it belongs!