Cal Poly Basketballer Is A Major In Bank Robbing

Apparently the jet set lifestyle of a college basketball player at Cal Poly isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. I always imagined being a member of the Mustangs would be a wonderful life - a life filled with money, women, and all the knee braces a man could ever dream of. Looks like that was all just a ploy used by the school to lure us in.

bank robbery

That’s what happened to poor Anthony Di Loreto. Upon arriving in San Luis Obispo, he was confronted with the harsh reality that he would not be living the glamor life after all, and when that happens, you really only have one move left to make.

Start robbing banks.


Anthony Joseph Di Loreto, 18, is a former Hopkins High School basketball star, was arrested by Minnetonka police as the suspected getaway driver.

The Burnette County Sheriff says two young men went to the Bremer Bank in Danbury Saturday with the intention to rob it around 9:55 a.m. A 16-year-old male with a sawed-off shotgun requested money and was handed an undisclosed amount. But when the gunman came out after the heist, Di Loreto, the suspected driver, was gone. “I don’t know if he had a change of heart or whether he was scared off I do not know,” said Sheriff Dean Roland.

You know, when I was 16 years old I was too busy getting drunk with my friends at house parties and trying to convince girls to have sex with me to find time to rob banks. Maybe I was just a nerd back then, but the thought of taking a sawed-off shotgun into a bank never occurred to me.

Anyway, Di Loreto is currently being held without bail in Hennepin County Jail awaiting extradition to Wisconsin. While the folks at Cal Poly are yet to issue a statement about the arrest, I think it’s safe to say Anthony’s roster spot will be filled should he ever come back.