Getting a DUI and then hiding it from your football coach is universally a terrible idea; it’s not like when the coach finds out, he admires your ingenuity and gives you a helmet sticker. But quick - name the worst I-A school at which to pull such a stunt. If you guessed Baylor, good guess but no. The answer is BYU, because BYU has Mormons, and Mormons are like vampires who feed on your ability to enjoy worldly pleasures. Also, they sleep in coffins.

(This only looks like a criminal mugshot. Well, aside from the jersey he’s wearing.)

Unfortunately, BYU LB Shiloah Te’o didn’t get that memo, and an August DUI arrest has come back to - metaphorically, we assure you - bite him. Proving the old “the coverup’s always worse than the crime” maxim true once again, head coach Bronco Mendenhall has made Te’o an ex-Cougar.

From the SALT LAKE TRIBUNE:

Mendenhall kicked Te’o off the team Tuesday night, saying only that the sophomore from Kahuku High in Laie, Hawaii, had violated team rules.

On Wednesday, The Tribune first reported that Te’o, 20, was arrested on suspicion of DUI and two other traffic violations Aug. 29, citing Provo City Justice Court documents. Charges were filed Sept. 18.

Asked why Te’o was allowed to play in BYU’s first five games, including the 14-13 win over Oklahoma just a week after the alleged DUI, Mendenhall said he did not learn of his player’s legal troubles until a few days ago.

Well, that didn’t go over very well. It’s a shame, because the DUI was pretty standard and didn’t get anybody hurt; it’s the type of thing that usually gets a player 2-4 weeks of suspension, even taking into the account that Te’o is underaged.

But lying to the coach about being involved in a major traffic incident like that, well, that’s extraordinarily bad judgment and enough for not only a dismissal from the team, but a full withdrawal from school (because really, why stay in Provo if you don’t have to?).

Te’o can probably still transfer to any other college that’ll have him - after all, the type of DUI he received is hardly a career-ender, especially as a first offense - but the stigma of violating his coach’s trust is probably going to haunt his football career for a lot longer than the DUI’s consequences will.