Dear Brooks,

Please send me $25,000 from the petty cash fund. I have found a new promotional opportunity that we must immediately pursue. Dick Vitale has arranged a fundraising auction for cancer research that includes the chance to play a round of golf with Bob Knight. When we win this auction, I will endeavor to recreate this video.

(Warning: Don’t watch this video at work, Brooks, because the language is naughty and will get you in trouble with your boss.)

The increase in traffic from having video of Bob Knight strangle a blogger should increase ad revenue 14% month over month. Heck, my enemies list should take care of half that number.

When this event successfully increases the site’s value, please send another $10,000. I will then investigate the conflict of interest caused by a television analyst calling upon head coaching buddies to do favors for them. (Of course Knight will be coaching in a year or so.) I promise little of this research will be done at the Clevelander on Miami Beach.