Bruce Bowen started his 500th consecutive NBA game last night, the longest current streak in the league. However, it appears he was given the night off anyway as the Hornets thumped the Spurs 100-75.

(Are those the Chinese characters for “NO, KITTY KITTY!”?)

Still, how does an underskilled gentleman like Mr. Bowen thrive so long in a starting role? No, not the elbows. No, not the jersey pulling and tripping. No, not the outsized reputation with referees. No, not the 40% three-point shooting combined with 60% from the line most years. Now you’re just being mean.

No, Bruce Bowen’s success comes from only one source: frozen chicken pot pies.

Tell us more, Bruce:

“In the beginning, it was Swanson’s,” Bowen said. “We’d play all day, and then throw in those Swanson pies and eat them like nobody’s business. I figured it was healthy. You’ve got vegetables in there, you’ve got chicken and chicken broth. There you have it. But it’s also filling.”

If you call enough fat and salt to knock a cheetah off its stride and into the bush, sure. Chicken pot pies are incredibly healthy. Maybe if you use them as the plate for a salad and keep them frozen.

Still, one can’t argue with success. Perhaps the real source of power, though, is when he pulls the frozen food from his shorts as LeBron James blows by him for the eighth time that quarter and smashes James on the back of the head. It’s not a flagrant foul because it’s filling. Jess Kersey said so.