Brog: My Evening With The Fat Guy From Borat

Last night I went to the invite-only Derek Jeter-Michael Jordan MLB All-Star party at a place called Marquee in New York. The joint was a smallish, two-level club with three rooms. When my stealth companions and I arrived, there were about 20 people in line waiting to talk to a racing gloves-wearing bouncer in a polka-dot jacket (just off the set of Reno 911?).

Jeter Jordan Party Borat Fat Guy

Turns out everyone in front of us was not on the list, so we systematically moved down the line until we finally were granted entrance. As we went inside, the bouncer announced, “this party is invite-only, so if you aren’t on the list, you aren’t getting in.

Of course, there also didn’t happen to be any celebrities or hot women arriving impromptu at that moment, ‘else the rules would’ve no doubt changed.

There were 400-500 people inside the club, and I’d guess 70% were women. That said, the hottie quotient wasn’t as high as you’d think it would’ve been. (Or I hadn’t been drinking enough.) The female bartenders were the best thing going, thanks to their striking looks, slinky tops and the wonderment that are the three-and-a-half words, “it’s open bar.”

Jeter Jordan Party

As far as celebs go, Billy Crystal was there early on, sitting in a booth upstairs. To give you an idea of the crowd demo, he wasn’t exactly fighting off partygoers. And he was the only non-baseball, major celebrity I saw outside of the VIP area the entire night. He seemed like a cool dude though, just chillin’. My buddy said hello.

Also there: damage-controlling Reggie Jackson, Roy Halladay, Wade Boggs, Joba Chamberlain, Tino Martinez and Ben Sheets.

Non-baseball celebs who were there: Jermaine Dupri, Ethan Hawke, Busta Rhymes, Gabrielle Union and CNBC’s Darren Rovell. And of course, my favorite, the fat, hairy nude guy from Borat (no, not Mark Mangino).

Mark Mangino Borat Azamat Nude Scene

Sadly, there was no sign of Jeter’s new girlfriend, Minka Kelly:

Derek Jeter Minka Kelly upskirt smile

Not there: ARod, who was hosting his own party across town. That shindig featured Madonna music, urinal stall wranglers and light appetizers with a$$ tasting.

The fact that I was able to come up with a coherent thought before the game tonight tells you that I didn’t stay until the bitter end, looking to scare up stragglers. Not that I wasn’t looking for that sort of lurid activity. Just didn’t see anything to my liking. It happens.

Outside of Jeter Jordan AllStar Party

Now I’m off to the MLB red carpet parade down sixth avenue, and the liveblog is later tonight - beginning at 7:30-8pm ET. See you inside Yankee Stadium in a few hours!