Brog: All The Big Macs I Want, Thanks To Laila Ali!

In my drive from Miami to Los Angeles, I’m not even halfway home yet, as I come to you today from lovely Lake Charles, Louisiana. I’m hoping to make it to El Paso tonight, if I can effectively steer clear of the thousands of Taco Cabanas and Whataburgers that I”ll encounter along the way.

Being on the road, you never realize how much you miss tomatoes until you eat fast food every meal. If the Mexicans start pooping in liquid cheese too, I’ll soon be shorting Taco Bell stock.

Also on the subject of fast food, I live mostly now on the west coast, so Hardees is off my radar screen. But it seems every other billboard driving through the South pimps the chain’s “Thickburger”. Who’s the marketing wizard who came up with that name?

Kim Kardashian Thickburger

As bad a name as that is, Hardees could still save face with an ad campaign featuring Reggie Bush’s favorite menu item. With the chain owned by Carls, Jr., which has featured plenty of sexually-charged commercial spots, it’s probably only a matter of time.

Speaking of liquid cheese, my crummy diet has me a little concerned about my newly-expanded waistline. So thank goodness I spotted this in SBD today, “Boxer Laila Ali, who is six-months pregnant, will be featured in a global print and TV campaign for Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula stretch mark products. Ads are slated to run on broadcast outlets and in major magazines in the fall.

Laila Ali Palmers Stretchmarks Endorsement

Laila Ali for stretch marks products? How that endorsement opportunity eluded Buster Douglas lo these many years remains a mystery

Pete Carroll Will Ferrell

Or at the very least, a product placement pop in the latest Will Ferrell vehicle?

Here’s to all the folks in FL, MS, LA and TX for helping keep my speed down. That’s mainly thanks to discriminating locals driving cars that look exactly like those used by State Troopers. How can Ford and GM be struggling so when all those factory-fresh Crown Vics are flying off the lots from Lafayette to Lake Charles?

I’d like to ask the good folks at Hilton and Marriott a question. How are you able to keep your hotel rooms clean, as it seems all your maids only camp outside my room all morning - every morning. On the bright side, I’ve absolutely nailed the Spanish words for “toilet brush“.

From this week’s Comcast SportsNet appearance by Jonathan Papelbon - as the Bosox closer talked about the Devil Rays (1:35 in) (video after the jump):


Payback’s a bitch.“When I saw this shirt, I thought:

Coach L TShirt

Finally! The Washington Generals have some cool merch I can buy!

Great headline on TotalFark today: “The 14 most difficult feats in sports. Notably absent: trying to hide an order of bananas flambe from Curt Schilling while he’s wearing night-vision goggles.

Still miss John Tesh’s NBA theme song from the league’s days on NBC? Here you go.

Tesh has been out of the public eye for too long. But thank god we have someone to fill the void now - Chris Martin.

The Phillies pull the Zohan of baseball pranks (devoid of humor).

You want to know what IS funny? Norm Clarke of the LAS VEGAS REVIEW JOURNAL reports Danijela Golub, another hostess at N9NE Steakhouse, has struck up a friendship with Los Angeles Lakers reserve Sasha Vujacic.

Friendship?

N9NE Steakhouse is in The Palms, which is where I always rest my head in Vegas. Anyone who frequents Vegas knows the Maloofs hire the hottest female employees. Not to mention the Playboy Club is the best place to play Blackjack in town - if you get there early enough to avoid the inevitable $100 tables.

Want to know if someone really doesn’t really follow international soccer? They considered Croatia’s victory over Germany yesterday a gigantic upset.

Page 1 of the “How To Cure Slow Season Ticket Sales With a Bogus Promotion That Will Be Picked Up By MSM Lapdogs” Playbook: *Free* gas.

What I do when I have lotsa of free time.

What David Ortiz does when he has lotsa free time.

SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY spots a piece in the PACIFIC PALISADES POST about reknowned archiect DAN MEIS, who designed Staples Center, Safeco Field and Paul Brown Stadium..

Meis current “effort is the design of the proposed [L.A.] NFL Stadium.

Meis: “I wasn’t a huge sports freak, but I was intrigued by the fact that these buildings have a big impact on the cities that they’re in because people are very passionate about them.

Meis says he’s working on designing a new, L.A. NFL stadium? He didn’t really have to tell us that he wasn’t a sports fan, we could’ve figured that out on our own.

Or maybe Meis is on to something?