STOCK TIP: TIME TO INVEST IN CONDOM COMPANIES NOW! The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that after much prolonged, agonizing consternation, FIFA decided this week to award the 2014 World Cup to Brazil.

It was a really tough decision for Sepp Blatter & Co., considering “Brazil was the only candidate and won in a unanimous vote Tuesday by the executive committee of the sport’s governing body.”

Bob Barker’s “Price Is Right” wheel landed on South America in 2014 to host the Cup, as FIFA recently decided to spread the world’s biggest sporting spectacle to all the six major continents (which is why hell-hole South Africa got 2010).

We actually look forward to attending the tourney in Brazil, and we’ve already packed the requisite forty condoms.