• THE WORLD OF ISAAC uncovers US soccer player Natasha Kai pulling a Brandi Chastain after the Americans beat Brazil for the women’s gold:

Frankly, we prefer to ogle Brandi’s original shirt-shedding.

• UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL can’t believe what they’re seeing, as a British couple thinks they’ve found a missing girl, but the child turns out to be the non-missing son of a Croatian soccer player.

• YOU BEEN BLINDED pulls no punches, as Mike Tyson says he’s done with boxing. (At least until his next appearance fee check clears.)

• WITH LEATHER finds A-Rod hanging with the new Menudo. Ay caramba!

• DEADSPIN hopes to make some cold, hard cash betting on NFL arrests.

• HOME RUN DERBY comes across a Cardinals fan celebrating the Cubs’ century of futility with a jersey that also bashes Steve Bartman.

• THE FEMININE FAN learns that Tom Brady doesn’t like it when you talk smack about Pats backup QB Matt Cassel.

• HOT STOVE NEW YORK tosses up word that Andy Pettitte doesn’t like pitching to Pudge Rodriguez.