Boston Red Sox Fans Can Decompose In Style

While most sports fans follow sports for entertainment or an escape from everyday life, there is that portion of people who take it way too seriously. We all know some of these superfans, in fact, some of us may even be one. You know the type, their whole lives revolve around their favorite team. Every single item of clothing they wear has a Red Sox logo on it, their furniture at home is all black and yellow so guests realize that they’re sitting in a Steelers fans’ house, they start fights with people wearing jerseys of players from their rival team. They’re just really, really, really into supporting their team.

Still, I guess for some people devoting their entire lives to rooting for a team just isn’t enough. What happens when they die?  How will all the earthworms and maggots that slowly eat their decomposing body know that the New York Knicks are the greatest basketball team on Earth? Well, if you’re a Knicks fan I don’t know how you’ll let them know, but I do have some good news for you if your a Boston Red Sox fan.


For years, lifelong Red Sox fans wanted their team to win the World Series so they could finally go to the grave in peace. Now, they can do it encased in the team’s logo as well.

Yes, the officially licensed Red Sox casket has arrived. The team logo is embroidered on the soft velvet of the lining and pillow, each of which is as white as a home uniform on Opening Day. The logo also appears on the exterior of the casket, which is made of high-gloss 18-gauge steel accented with baseball bat-style wood, tassels, and polished chrome - more Cadillac than bullpen car, headed for the hereafter.

The caskets are made by a company in Michigan called Eternal Image, and don’t worry, if you’re not a Red Sox fan it doesn’t mean you’re going to meet your maker without expressing your devotion to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Eventually caskets will be available for all MLB teams, and soon after that Eternal Image will produce urns for you as well.

The caskets run for $4,499 and the urns are a much cheaper alternative at $799.

Of course, dying without your dignity is priceless.