Book It, Done: Shaunie Kicks Shaq To The Curb

All across America gigantic underpants are flying at half-staff today as it is learned that Shaunie O’Neal has filed for separation from her large, Cleveland Cavaliers-playing husband. This just a day after it was alleged by one web site that Shaq was canoodling with Gilbert Arenas‘ fiance, Laura Govan.

Shaquille, Shaunie O'Neal

The site YOUNG, BLACK AND FABULOUS, which needless to say I have bookmarked, has some quite graphic emails purportedly sent back and forth between Shaq and Govan. And the papers that Shaunie O’Neal filed on Monday are just as graphic, with terms such as “community assets” and “separate property.” Anyway, Shaq’s back on the market, ladies. Form and orderly queue.

I absolutely love the wording in this WENN story:

The NBA veteran split from his spouse in September 2007 and accused Shaunie of being secretive about her assets. In his divorce petition, he said, “The marriage … is irretrievably broken.”

The couple reunited in August 2008 and vowed to work through its problems, but the star’s attempts have failed to impress Shaunie and she filed new papers in Los Angeles County Superior Court on Monday.

Yes, Shaq’s “attempts to impress Shaunie” were a bit deficient. That tends to happen when your love emails to another woman are plastered all over every computer screen in the industrialized world.

That’s like saying Pittsburgh’s attempts to win the National League pennant fell somewhat short.

Anyway, Shaunie did what every aggrieved wife does when preparing to leave their husband; she flew to California and took up residence there.

TMZ has learned Shaunie filed legal papers yesterday in L.A., even though the couple lives in Florida. The petition says although Shaunie is filing for legal separation, she intends to file for divorce. She lists “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for separation.

We’re told Shaunie pulled her kids out of school in Florida several days ago and they are with her now in L.A.

Why, you ask, would Shaunie cross the country to file in L.A.? Well, a spouse generally does a lot better in the spousal support department here in California. Shaunie is asking for both spousal and child support — though she did not specify an amount for either.

So how does this affect the Shaq-Gilbert-Laura love triangle? Can LeBron be somehow involved? (Just asking). Could this not be a reality show, please? Thanks in advance.