â€¢ Emmitt Smith defends the legacy of the Dallas Cowboys by declaring Terrell Owens to be a non-Cowboy, according to FANHOUSE. What’s wrong, Emmitt; not enough hookers and blow to meet the minimum requirements?
(George Teague agrees)
â€¢ This young lady would like to find marital bliss with Korean pitching star Kim Kwang-hyun. EAST WINDUP CHRONICLE has found as a clear visual definition of ‘moxie’ as we’ve ever seen.
(White seems a bit presumptuous here)
â€¢ Matt Loede of NFL GRIDIRON GAB has spotted another Hochuli Hiccup in today’s action. We bet you hear more about this later.Â Just a guess.
â€¢ U.S.S. MARINER finds themselves rooting for a Nationals win and a Mariners loss today to preserve their chance to win… the top draft pick. Lo siento. Work on getting Kim Ng in there fast so she can bring scouting god Logan White with her and you won’t have to fret so much.
â€¢ DEADSPIN discovers through the BOSTON GLOBE that Dustin Pedroia can walk on water in six distinct and inspiring ways. (Also, he can kill anything else that dares try the trick, like his pet goose.)
â€¢ Jay Busbee reports from DEVIL BALL GOLF that Anthony Kim made all the golf fanboys coo during his round today (including Mr. Busbee himself) despite giving up the lead to Sergio Garcia and denting a spectator’s forehead with an errant shot.