Ben Johnson Wants To Remind You He Cheated

STEROID NATION reports that Ben Johnson, perhaps inspired by the literary masterpieces from the pen of Jose Canseco, will be writing his own autobiography. Tentatively titled Seoul to Soul, it’s sure to be a compelling, honest look at his steroid-induced rise to fame and fall from grace after dusting Carl Lewis in the 100 meters at the 1988 Summer Olympics. Or, it could be page after page of him again refusing to take the blame.

Ben Johnson

I feel like I’ve seen some version of this story a hundred times now, and I have a hard time believing that Johnson’s story is going to be fresh or relevant. However, there is way that Johnson can take his “disgraced athlete tell-all book” and make it stand out while reaching a new market: pop-up books for children.

Think about it - parents want their kids to learn about the dangers of steroid use. Why not start teaching them with a cautionary tale when they are young? Along with the giant, pop-up needle full of steroids, you can also have a pull-tab version where you can have Ben race against horses and cars (kids love horses and cars), and maybe you could lift the gold medal on and off of his neck. Or, if you live in a fantasy world, you can have a cartoon Carl Lewis spiking Ben’s beer the night before the race.

I’m telling you, this would work. And if Ben Johnson doesn’t want to do the pop-up steroid book, I’m sure that MLB and the Partnership for a Drug-Free America would jump right in: it seems to be right about at their level of sophistication when talking to kids about steroids.