More insight into the perfectionism demanded by Beijing Olympics officials as we discover that the fetching young lasses that led the Olympians into the Opening Ceremony earlier this month (and doesn’t that seem like ages ago now?) could not even be considered for their honored role without shaking off all their clothes and being measured from every angle.

(Just another example of China stealing our processes)

On the other hand, at least they got to defecate in the traditional Chinese pit, unlike the 900 soldiers toting the banner around that made up much of the Ceremony. Since they had to stay put for the entire ceremony (from prep through last citizen out), they received adult diapers for their convenience. Just adding to the pollution scent, we suppose.

Folks, we’ve been gone for a bit, so we haven’t had a chance to say this, but enough with the China gotchas. Oooh, people that participate in highly orchestrated public events often find themselves in individually humiliating circumstances. Really?

Those dancers that tried out for official den mothers of Olympic squads never found themselves obsessed with their bodies until that moment? Soldiers never have to worry about squatting in their own excrement with someone trying to kill them for days on end? Little girls don’t get abused by stage moms (or, in this case, Mother China) and develop complexes?

If you want something to fuss about, have Joey Cheek on your media outlet. Or, you know, the Dalai Lama. Otherwise, please let this entire line of questioning go. After all, none of this could be more ego-shattering than being a 17-year-old girl forced to pretend Steven Tyler’s still hot at the Super Bowl.