Let us speak on behalf of those of us living in Southern California: The news that dropped out of the sky that David Beckham is bending his Poshy wife’s arm to join him in L.A. while he performs tricks for the local Major League Soccer kickball team over the next five years at the bargain price of $250 million is No. 2 on the radar — right after the reports that we’re gonna get a buncha cold rained dumped on us along with freezing temperatures over the next couple of days.

If all our orange trees can’t make it through this frost, then the neighborhood kids who play in the local AYSO leagues will have nothing to eat at halftime, and there’ll be no buzz about how everyone’s piling into Ian’s dad’s Range Rover to head way over to the Home Depot Center to see this overpaid foreign guy slap the spotted ball around and maybe get an invite to his soccer academy.

Pretty sad all around. Maybe we can cheer you up with a couple of David Beckham jokes.