LA Galaxy fans, you’ve just watched your team give up three goals in a loss to Toronto FC, who can only score if you’re counting their fans and they can only score because they’re schnockered to their Canadian gills. It’s killing you. You just want to find a way to start over. So print out the game story (because it won’t be in the TIMES; ha!), wad it up, and toss it…
…into your David Beckham garbage can. If it’s rubbish, it’s David Beckham.
Let’s hope the Galaxy’s marketing team can reel this one back in before too much damage is done. Or, at the bare minimum, try to pass on the following ideas:
- L.A. Galaxy shampoo - You can now wash that team right out of your hair!
- L.A. Galaxy potty training kit - Learn to hit the target, just like the Galaxy! Bathroom power washing kit not included
- The David Beckham Sewage Treatment Facility
- Beckham-sponsored puke sawdust - Perfect for middle schools, state fairs, and the Home Depot Center, it’s blue so you can make the team colors when you sprinkle it down
- David Beckham lawn dart kit - Like their namesake, you too can have a long shot at winning through the power of your set pieces.