Pity the poor MANHATTAN (KS) MERCURY (via FAN IQ), which takes Michael Beasley’s bait on his (brief) fake NBA timetable:

It’s that time of the year when teams are playing their final home games of the year. Whether the preps or collegiately, the occasion goes by the name of Senior Night. But might it also be the thanks-for-the-memories games for another pair of Wildcats?

“I’ve got three more years after this one,” said freshman Michael Beasley, who is ranked No. 1 on every NBA Draft chart. “My Senior Night isn’t for a long time.“

So Michael, are you guaranteeing that — you’ll definitely be back?

“I ain’t guaranteeing anything,” he answered, flashing a smile.

Not true. He can guarantee that booted-n-suited Bob Huggins has a better than 50% chance of a gastrointestinal disorder of varying severity in the next calendar year.