Carter Gaddis, who is currently covering the Tigers for MLIVE.com and is a former Rays beat writer for the TAMPA TRIBUNE, is about as close to a baseball lifer as you can get. He’s been covering the game since 1992, and following major league beats since 2002. Now, he’s dishing about his best bizarre moments on a new tell-all blog, a venture that his employers, MLIVE, may not be completely thrilled about. Why? Because his very first entry involves the visual ambiguity of penises and hot dogs … and a dead man.
(A re-enactment of Jeremi Gonzalez’s shower antics.)
What did Gaddis kick off TAMPA BAY BASEBALL OUTSIDER with? Just a classic tale of the late Jeremi Gonzalez (the one who died after being struck with lightning, not the one who’s first name started with a “G”) trying to get new teammate Adam Piatt to try his “hot dog” as a way of welcoming him to Tampa Bay - all while completely nude, of course.
Here’s the best snippet from the story:
Piatt reached up to shake his hand, then realized what was actually in Jeremi’s hand and pulled back real quick. The whole place fell apart laughing. “I guess my friend doesn’t like hotdogs,” Gonzalez said, and he wandered back into the shower room.
A moment later, Jeremi’s partner in crime, pitcher Rob Bell, popped out of the shower room (again, completely naked; these guys would go to any length for a joke) and hollered over at Piatt: “Hey, Piatt! What’s wrong with that hotdog?” Then Bell turned around and took a step back toward the shower … revealing a hotdog jammed between his buttocks. Once he was sure everyone had seen it, he reached back, grabbed the hotdog and took a bite as he walked back into the shower. “Mmm,” he said. “That’s a good hotdog.”
Pretty strong story, huh? Well, except for the fact that it focuses on the male member of a guy who died in rather tragic circumstances five years after it occurred. Now, the real question is whether he cleared the blog by the people who still pay him to cover baseball teams, and, you know, blog about it for them. We can understand why MLIVE wouldn’t be so hot on chatting up the mistaken identity of penises on their blog, particularly when it involves a deceased Devil Ray and two MLB wash outs.
(Jeremi Gonzalez: Purveyor or unique cured meats.)
Still, would anyone feel comfortable having one of their main employees dish about that? Probably not. If they do, we’d like to work for them. Oh wait, we already do. Scratch that. And keep reading. We’ll try to find another unique penis-cured meat angle by the end of the day.