The best day of the Major League Baseball season has finally arrived. No more ripping out sheets from the day planner; no more taking chocolates in the shape of 70s relief pitchers from the Advent calendar. Hooray for FORBES Baseball Team Valuations Day! Now you can see how your team is doing in the most important standings of all: making billionaires richer!

(As Commissioner, I demand you stop telling them the owners are making money!)

The rankings provide few surprises (Dallas’ team is 16th? Detroit is 17th? Does Philadelphia know it has nearly six million people in the metro area?) and a few bitter disappointments (Miami has over five million people in its metro area and a Latin-heavy population that loves baseball but Loria will happily live off the revenue sharing money? Afraid of success much?).

However, our favorite part of the list every year continues to be putting the lie to the owners: every single one of them made a profit last year.

True, three teams (Yanks, Red Sox, Blue Jays) posted operating losses last year, but each made a boatload more back off their cable properties. (YES Network might be worth 2-3 times more than the Yankees themselves. Do you figure that happens without the team-related content?)

Please take the next opportunity you have to meet an MLB team owner to laugh in their faces. The teams have dropped player costs from 66% of revenue to 56% since 2002. Their revenues are up nearly 8%. Teams are worth 143% more than they were in 1998. No one’s coming out the other side of a baseball team purchase poorer than they came in.

No, not even Jeffrey Loria. Dude could screw up a request to have the sun rise in the east, but he can’t lose money on baseball.