For anyone who has seen “The Bad News Bears” (the real one, not the awful remake with Billy Bob Thornton), the idea of a drunk Little League coach can seem humorous. But as someone who had a coach in real life who was blitzed about 50 percent of the time, I can tell you it’s not. Especially the part where he “forgets” to make the line-up card before the game or “forgets” to show up to the game at all. It’s less “wacky” and more “depressing.”
(If only they had this sign in Watertown, all this trouble could have been avoided)
Some youth baseball players and parents in Watertown, NY learned this lesson the hard way, as the WATERTOWN DAILY TIMES says that one of the league’s coaches showed up to the game hammered. Unfortunately for him, one of the parents in attendance happened to be the town’s police chief. Which makes his alleged decision to avoid the walk to the restroom to urinate and instead go on the side of the field - in retrospect - a little unwise. I’d say he was doing more than putting the “water” in Watertown, if you get my drift.
Needless to say, Fredrick Goodwin was charged with disorderly conduct after being arrested by Watertown police chief Joe Goss. Unsurprisingly, it turns out that Goodwin had been arrested for a DWI by state police last month, which at least explains what drove him to drink: either to depression about the drunk driving charge, or the fact that he’s likely a raging alcoholic. I’m going to go with the latter choice.
In fact, not only was the police chief watching his son play at the game, but the team Goodwin’s squad was facing was sponsored by the Watertown Police Benevolent Association. So either Goodwin is the dumbest person in America, or he had to take a leak unlike anyone has in the history of the world. Maybe he should have taken a tip from “Seinfeld” and claimed that he had a medical condition, and that he could die if he didn’t go.
According to NEWS 10 NOW, police say Goodwin “was cooperative and apologetic, but with 75 people at the game, his actions were unacceptable.” Which makes you wonder just how large a crowd it is acceptable to urinate in front of in Watertown. I’m going to get me a Double Big Gulp and drive over there to find out!