Barry Zito Could Buy More Garlic Fries Than You

For San Francisco Giants fans, the phrase “buyer beware” certainly could have braced them for the 0-5 start Barry Zito has thrust upon the bay. But whether or not he wins 20 or loses 20, Zito — like every other non-commission based lunchpail worker — gets paid the same. Which raises the question: how many more garlic fries could Zito buy than you?

Barry Zito is worth a lot of french fries

(It’s a simple question. A baby could answer it.)

Thankfully the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE has come up with this handy Zito to fries conversion chart. You simply enter in your salary, and it tells you how many years it’d take you to work at that base salary to earn the $14.5 million that Zito will collect this year.

This is a fantastic invention for people who don’t have a built-in calculator on their computer. So, those with early Linux builds.

So, suppose you make … $30,000 a year. (Quit now! There’s a better job out there for you!) Just punch that salary bracket into the Zitometer (not really what it’s called), and find out that you’d have to work 446 years to get the money and nutrition of one (1) Barry Zito 2008 baseball season.

But it gets better. You also have the ability to buy 4,815 orders of garlic fries, which is nothing compared to the 2,148,148 cups of garlic fries Zito could buy. And will buy. He’s obsessed with them. In fact, MLB’s gonna start testing for garlic next year. Gotta keep the vampires out of the game, to preserve the integrity.